With occasional reflection on the perpetual absurdity/intrigue of life and society in general.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Onion - News In Brief 02

Report: 10 Million Killed Annually By Stepping Out Of Comfort Zones

AUGUST 24, 2010 | ISSUE 46•34

WASHINGTON—A new report published this week by the Department of Health and Human Services revealed that more than 10 million Americans are violently killed each year while attempting to break away from their regular everyday routines and try something new. "We found that getting out of your comfort zone and facing your fears resulted in premature death nearly 78 percent of the time," HHS researcher Madeline Hersh said. "People always ask themselves, 'What's the worst that can happen?' Well, according to our research, anything from being bitten by a poisonous snake to dying in a hot-air balloon crash can happen." The report found that the safest individuals were those who surrendered to the soul-crushing monotony of habit and then convinced themselves that they had things pretty good.

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